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10/11/2005

1. I was born and raised in Bentonville, AR (home of Wal-Mart)

2. I hate Wal-Mart and everything it stands for

3. I have had a job since I was 14

4. I have lived on my own since I was 16

5. I have been married twice

6. I divorced the first one because he had no opinion whatsoever, about anything

7. Oh yeah and because he lied

8. Until I got pregnant with the little lovely I thought I couldn't have children

9. Not because a doctor told me, but because I dreamed about it

10. My greatest wish is that I could be a rock star

11. I couldn't carry a tune if my life depended on it.

12. My favorite dream is when I am Jimmy Page's daughter and I can wail on the guitar

13. I can't play the guitar either

14. I quit playing the piano at age 5 (or 6) because I was jealous of my sister

15. I probably would have been better at it had I given it time (sorry sis)

16. I quit gymnastics for the same reason

17. I have been in love with 3 men in my life

18. 2 of them were liars (bastards)

19. I believe in revenge

20. I am still waiting to exact it

21. I used to want to be a starving artist

22. Then I found out what it is like to starve

23. I have an insane fear and dread that I will be killed by a serial killer

24. I constantly believe I am being stalked

25. Clowns are scary too

26. Until recently I hated my mother

27. My parents weren't around much (emotionally) when I was growing up

28. I became an adult before my time

29. I need to let that go

30. I hate to cry

31. I feel that crying makes me weak

32. When other people cry I freak out and try to get away as fast as possible

33. I find it extremely hard to relate to people

34. Historically, most of my friends have been male

35. Other women hate me because of this, especially my friends' wives and girlfriends

36. I think I truly look fat when I look in the mirror

37. I wear a size 0

38. Other women make snide remarks about this

39. I don't feel too bad because I work very hard to look how I look

40. I want people to like me

41. But pretend I don't care

42. People that don't know me think I am a total bitch

43. I am a bitch

44. I am not a compassionate person

45. I hate when people ask for a handout when they can cleary get it themselves if they just tried

46. I am a conservative

47. I think abortion for any reason, except in extreme cases, is morally and ethically wrong

48. But I believe in the death penalty

49. I believe in God

50. But I don't believe I have to go to church to go to heaven

51. I had only been to church a handful of times before I met the Almost

52. And I still hate going to church

53. I am afraid I will fuck up my daughter as much as my mother fucked me up

54. I don't know how to not do that.

55. My daughter truly is the best thing that ever happened to me

56. I would probably be dead (literally) if she hadn't been born

57. I don't want anymore children

58. The Almost does

59.I have a tongue ring

60. I more or less did it on a dare

61. That was almost 10 years ago

62. I don't do tricks with it so don't ask

63. I used to be extremely wild and crazy

64. I want a nose job (sorry Ham)

65. I also want a boob job because the little lovely deflated my assets

66. I still have a great ass though

67. I love the Almost more than I could have ever imagined loving anyone

68. He tells everyone I picked him up in a bar

69. This is only half true

70. I thought he was over 30 when I met him

71. He was only 23

72. He still looks over 30 to me (shhhhh, don't tell him I said that)

73. I haven't thought about another man since I met him

74. I am afraid of intimacy

75. I have seen every episode of Friends and Sex and the City

76. I still watch both every chance I get (hell yeah for DVDs!)

77. I think this makes me lame

78. I hate to clean

79. But I organize obsessively

80. The happiest I have ever been was when I built my closet organizer

81. I have been to 49 of the 50 states (I bet you can't guess which one I haven't been to) and to Puerto Rico

82. I have also been to all Canadian provences, most of South America and parts of Europe

83. I would take Valium every 6 hours if I could

84. I don't because I love the Almost and my daughter too much

85. I don't believe in ghosts

86. But some sort of entity resides in my house

87. I love the snow

88. I hate cold weather

89. I wish it was legal to shoot people that drive like idiots

90. I believe people should have to have a license to have children

91. I trip up the stairs at least once a week

92. I have taken out (read: fallen over) the same silk tree in a conference room, not once, not twice, but 3 times

93. I hate fish

94. I eat sushi anyway

95. I can get drunk off of 2 drinks

96. I am a down right riot when I am drunk

97. I feel like a failure every day of my life

98. I am probably more successful than most people my age

99. I wish I was in Miami every day of my life

100. I have insomnia most of the time

101. Because I am afraid of my dreams

9:48:03 PM | Blog it

Comments (14)

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	Sandy Rowleywrote: I think your my evil twin. I secretly share most of your 101things about me except for the ghost thing and traveling. I also hate it when people will not leave you alone about going to church! They think it is their mission to save my soul. It has already been saved-but I still hate church! May 8
	--Jazz_Moondragon-- wrote: haha, are you kidding me? That's what a typical American would say. Not that theres anything wrong with that. I'm just saying that she is a clone by saying that. She is following what 51-52 percent of the American population that voted for Bush say. And she's not Canadian Rusell you dick. Aka - 1. I was born and raised in Bentonville, AR (home of Wal-Mart) Do you read? Jazz Oct. 16
	Dictator_Russell wrote: At last: 46. I am a conservative 47. I think abortion for any reason, except in extreme cases, is morally and ethically wrong 48. But I believe in the death penalty 49. I believe in God I found a canadian that's not a clone :D Oct. 15
	SignalCindyF wrote: You're also a riot sober. And I hear ya sista! I'm an insomniac also. great space... Oct. 13
	Indigo-XX wrote: Yah, about that size 0 thing...(fine, fine, I like you anyway, probably because most of my friends are men, too) :) Oct. 12
	EdgyKay wrote: He might think it's some sort of blogging "gang talk," instead of your name. We're such an ECCENTRIC group... Also, I forgot to comment on one of you 101. Size 0?? Isn't that just children's clothing, lengthened and boobified? I'm successfully feeling like a big -- yet loveable -- tub of goo. Oct. 12
	jrpersia wrote: By the way, why doesn't Jim know my name? It is posted right at the top of my page?! confused Oct. 12
	jrpersia wrote: Kay and Dreamer - I think everyone is afraid they will screw up their kids. Why should I be any different? I am doing my best not to... I think because of my fear I may turn out to be a better mother than I would have otherwise. Heather - I can't wait to get that damned tree. I hate it. The worst part about it (I am afraid to admit this) the tree is in the corner. I am such a freak. Kay is so not a "ninny". Its true she may overanalyze just a wee bit, but what can you expect from the grammar queen?! It makes you who you are and for that we are greatful. I bow down yet again. Bob - you flatter me yet again. If I could afford a harley for you it would be on your doorstep right now. Would you settle for a brand new BIC pen? I have 40,000 at my disposal. You just say the word and these babies could be yours! Ham - You know how I feel about you moving spaces again. Also Wal-Mart was founded by Sam Walton. I guess he was being creative and dropped the ton from his last name for Wal-Mart. A mart by Wal, genius! Whatever, before walmart was invented he had a couple of 5 and dime stores, called 5 and dime (this man really knows how to state the obvious) which is now a museum. Because we must give a damn. Can you tell I am bitter? I think before about 10 years ago Walmart was actually Turkish for "we are going to screw you for every cent you have by selling you piece of shit merchandise that will fall apart as soon as you break open the package" But I could be wrong. Example: Back in the day when skating rinks were fashionable (I was in the 4th or 5th grade) I bought a pair roller skates. They were purple with those little balls hanging from the laces. Very cool, I swear. I was skating my little heart out and BAM! 3 tumbles, 2 twists and 1 fall later and I was the laughing stock of Rogers, AR. Never again.... bastards.... selling me shit. I am still waiting for the right moment for my revenge. That and they have put a lot of hard working independent businesses out of operation trying to monopolize every single industry they can conquer, yeah I said conquer. The man is trying to keep them down. DAMN THE MAN! And finally... I don't know Jim, but I am not sure what he is saying here. Is Jim sad? Does Jim think Jenn hates herself? No worries Jim, I have a bit of self depreciating humor, but for the most part I feel pretty good about who I am and what I do. Having said this, I am a very pessimistic person, in general. I always see the glass half empty and that's ok. If we all were cheery and happy all the live long day... well, I just couldn't live in such a world. Its all ying yang for me. Jim did say happy trails though, which I interpretted as him wishing me well. So thank you Jim, your presence has been appreciated. Peace out my friends! Oct. 12
	Jim wrote: This is strange, I don't even know your name and I now know more about you than I do my self. I never tell much about me, even to me. Keeps me from having 101 thing I hate. So, as it is I can love myself. Maybe next time you will write 101 things that you love about yourself.. Happy trails Jim Oct. 12
	trinketweasel wrote: what exactly does wal mart stand for? Oct. 12
	Boomer-Bob wrote: Oh Jenn, No talent??? Go read your stuff, try it with a mouth full of jello and see if it dosen't come out through your nose. This is FUNNY SHIT HERE...you have to know that. And I'm sure that your daughter will turn out fine. And I like #89 as well... Boomer Oct. 12
	EdgyKay wrote: Never fear, Jenn. You won't fuck up your daughter. Knowledge is power, and you know what NOT to do, is my guess. And who says it's too late to have a childhood? Relive it -- to a certain extent, of course -- with your own daughter. (But don't be that creepy "best friend mom" that wants to sit and dish with the girls...) You strike me as intelligent, with your rapier wit and irreverent attitude. That's a good thing, Sistah! That's TALENT! Oh, and another talent? Calming down quasi-hysterical old women who think that someone is stalking THEM on their own blog. Jesus, I'm a ninny. Thanks again for talking me down. Oct. 12
	EnjoyMockingAuthority wrote: Waiting for the blog when you exact your revenge on the silk tree... ~Heather Oct. 12
	Random_Beautiful_Dreamer wrote: You and I share much of the same things. Fun, but creepy weird. I've been working since I was 14, I moved out when I was 15. I don't know my parents that well. It was better that I got out. I wish I could sing. I love my husband more than anything, but we don't have kids yet. I'm scared I'll screw them up. He wants to make more money. Oct. 12

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