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    10/11/2005

    101 Things About Me

    1. I was born and raised in Bentonville, AR (home of Wal-Mart)
    2. I hate Wal-Mart and everything it stands for
    3. I have had a job since I was 14
    4. I have lived on my own since I was 16
    5. I have been married twice
    6. I divorced the first one because he had no opinion whatsoever, about anything
    7. Oh yeah and because he lied
    8. Until I got pregnant with the little lovely I thought I couldn't have children
    9. Not because a doctor told me, but because I dreamed about it
    10. My greatest wish is that I could be a rock star
    11. I couldn't carry a tune if my life depended on it.
    12. My favorite dream is when I am Jimmy Page's daughter and I can wail on the guitar
    13. I can't play the guitar either
    14. I quit playing the piano at age 5 (or 6) because I was jealous of my sister
    15. I probably would have been better at it had I given it time (sorry sis)
    16. I quit gymnastics for the same reason
    17. I have been in love with 3 men in my life
    18. 2 of them were liars (bastards)
    19. I believe in revenge
    20. I am still waiting to exact it
    21. I used to want to be a starving artist
    22. Then I found out what it is like to starve
    23. I have an insane fear and dread that I will be killed by a serial killer
    24. I constantly believe I am being stalked
    25. Clowns are scary too
    26. Until recently I hated my mother
    27. My parents weren't around much (emotionally) when I was growing up
    28. I became an adult before my time
    29. I need to let that go
    30. I hate to cry
    31. I feel that crying makes me weak
    32. When other people cry I freak out and try to get away as fast as possible
    33. I find it extremely hard to relate to people
    34. Historically, most of my friends have been male
    35. Other women hate me because of this, especially my friends' wives and girlfriends
    36. I think I truly look fat when I look in the mirror
    37. I wear a size 0
    38. Other women make snide remarks about this
    39. I don't feel too bad because I work very hard to look how I look
    40. I want people to like me
    41. But pretend I don't care
    42. People that don't know me think I am a total bitch
    43. I am a bitch
    44. I am not a compassionate person
    45. I hate when people ask for a handout when they can cleary get it themselves if they just tried
    46. I am a conservative
    47. I think abortion for any reason, except in extreme cases, is morally and ethically wrong
    48. But I believe in the death penalty
    49. I believe in God
    50. But I don't believe I have to go to church to go to heaven
    51. I had only been to church a handful of times before I met the Almost
    52. And I still hate going to church
    53. I am afraid I will fuck up my daughter as much as my mother fucked me up
    54. I don't know how to not do that.
    55. My daughter truly is the best thing that ever happened to me
    56. I would probably be dead (literally) if she hadn't been born
    57. I don't want anymore children
    58. The Almost does
    59.I have a tongue ring
    60. I more or less did it on a dare
    61. That was almost 10 years ago
    62. I don't do tricks with it so don't ask
    63. I used to be extremely wild and crazy
    64. I want a nose job (sorry Ham)
    65. I also want a boob job because the little lovely deflated my assets
    66. I still have a great ass though
    67. I love the Almost more than I could have ever imagined loving anyone
    68. He tells everyone I picked him up in a bar
    69. This is only half true
    70. I thought he was over 30 when I met him
    71. He was only 23
    72. He still looks over 30 to me (shhhhh, don't tell him I said that)
    73. I haven't thought about another man since I met him
    74. I am afraid of intimacy
    75. I have seen every episode of Friends and Sex and the City
    76. I still watch both every chance I get (hell yeah for DVDs!)
    77. I think this makes me lame
    78. I hate to clean
    79. But I organize obsessively
    80. The happiest I have ever been was when I built my closet organizer
    81. I have been to 49 of the 50 states (I bet you can't guess which one I haven't been to) and to Puerto Rico
    82. I have also been to all Canadian provences, most of South America and parts of Europe
    83. I would take Valium every 6 hours if I could
    84. I don't because I love the Almost and my daughter too much
    85. I don't believe in ghosts
    86. But some sort of entity resides in my house
    87. I love the snow
    88. I hate cold weather
    89. I wish it was legal to shoot people that drive like idiots
    90. I believe people should have to have a license to have children
    91. I trip up the stairs at least once a week
    92. I have taken out (read: fallen over) the same silk tree in a conference room, not once, not twice, but 3 times
    93. I hate fish
    94. I eat sushi anyway
    95. I can get drunk off of 2 drinks
    96. I am a down right riot when I am drunk
    97. I feel like a failure every day of my life
    98. I am probably more successful than most people my age
    99. I wish I was in Miami every day of my life
    100. I have insomnia most of the time
    101. Because I am afraid of my dreams

    Comments (14)

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    Sandy Rowleywrote:
    I think your my evil twin.  I secretly share most of your 101things about me except for the ghost thing and traveling.  I also hate it when people will not leave you alone about going to church!  They think it is their mission to save my soul.  It has already been saved-but I still hate church!
    May 8
    Picture of Anonymous
    --Jazz_Moondragon-- wrote:
    haha, are you kidding me? That's what a typical American would say. Not that theres anything wrong with that. I'm just saying that she is a clone by saying that. She is following what 51-52 percent of the American population that voted for Bush say. And she's not Canadian Rusell you dick. Aka -

    1. I was born and raised in Bentonville, AR (home of Wal-Mart)

    Do you read?


    Jazz
    Oct. 16
    Picture of Anonymous
    Dictator_Russell wrote:
    At last:

    46. I am a conservative
    47. I think abortion for any reason, except in extreme cases, is morally and ethically wrong
    48. But I believe in the death penalty
    49. I believe in God

    I found a canadian that's not a clone :D
    Oct. 15
    Picture of Anonymous
    SignalCindyF wrote:
    You're also a riot sober. And I hear ya sista! I'm an insomniac also.
    great space...
    Oct. 13
    Picture of Anonymous
    Indigo-XX wrote:
    Yah, about that size 0 thing...(fine, fine, I like you anyway, probably because most of my friends are men, too) :)
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    EdgyKay wrote:
    He might think it's some sort of blogging "gang talk," instead of your name. We're such an ECCENTRIC group...

    Also, I forgot to comment on one of you 101. Size 0?? Isn't that just children's clothing, lengthened and boobified?

    I'm successfully feeling like a big -- yet loveable -- tub of goo.
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    jrpersia wrote:
    By the way, why doesn't Jim know my name? It is posted right at the top of my page?!

    *confused*
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    jrpersia wrote:
    Kay and Dreamer - I think everyone is afraid they will screw up their kids. Why should I be any different? I am doing my best not to... I think because of my fear I may turn out to be a better mother than I would have otherwise.

    Heather - I can't wait to get that damned tree. I hate it. The worst part about it (I am afraid to admit this) the tree is in the corner. I am such a freak.

    Kay is so not a "ninny". Its true she may overanalyze just a wee bit, but what can you expect from the grammar queen?! It makes you who you are and for that we are greatful. I bow down yet again.

    Bob - you flatter me yet again. If I could afford a harley for you it would be on your doorstep right now. Would you settle for a brand new BIC pen? I have 40,000 at my disposal. You just say the word and these babies could be yours!

    Ham - You know how I feel about you moving spaces again.

    Also Wal-Mart was founded by Sam Walton. I guess he was being creative and dropped the ton from his last name for Wal-Mart. A mart by Wal, genius! Whatever, before walmart was invented he had a couple of 5 and dime stores, called 5 and dime (this man really knows how to state the obvious) which is now a museum. Because we must give a damn. Can you tell I am bitter?

    I think before about 10 years ago Walmart was actually Turkish for "we are going to screw you for every cent you have by selling you piece of shit merchandise that will fall apart as soon as you break open the package" But I could be wrong. Example: Back in the day when skating rinks were fashionable (I was in the 4th or 5th grade) I bought a pair roller skates. They were purple with those little balls hanging from the laces. Very cool, I swear. I was skating my little heart out and BAM! 3 tumbles, 2 twists and 1 fall later and I was the laughing stock of Rogers, AR. Never again.... bastards.... selling me shit. I am still waiting for the right moment for my revenge.

    That and they have put a lot of hard working independent businesses out of operation trying to monopolize every single industry they can conquer, yeah I said conquer. The man is trying to keep them down. DAMN THE MAN!

    And finally... I don't know Jim, but I am not sure what he is saying here. Is Jim sad? Does Jim think Jenn hates herself? No worries Jim, I have a bit of self depreciating humor, but for the most part I feel pretty good about who I am and what I do. Having said this, I am a very pessimistic person, in general. I always see the glass half empty and that's ok. If we all were cheery and happy all the live long day... well, I just couldn't live in such a world. Its all ying yang for me. Jim did say happy trails though, which I interpretted as him wishing me well. So thank you Jim, your presence has been appreciated.

    Peace out my friends!
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    Jim wrote:
    This is strange, I don't even know your name and I now know more about you than I do my self. I never tell much about me, even to me. Keeps me from having 101 thing I hate. So, as it is I can love myself. Maybe next time you will write 101 things that you love about yourself..
    Happy trails
    Jim
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    trinketweasel wrote:
    what exactly does wal mart stand for?
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    Boomer-Bob wrote:
    Oh Jenn,
    No talent??? Go read your stuff, try it with a mouth full of jello and see if it dosen't come out through your nose. This is FUNNY SHIT HERE...you have to know that. And I'm sure that your daughter will turn out fine. And I like #89 as well...

    Boomer
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    EdgyKay wrote:
    Never fear, Jenn. You won't fuck up your daughter. Knowledge is power, and you know what NOT to do, is my guess.

    And who says it's too late to have a childhood? Relive it -- to a certain extent, of course -- with your own daughter. (But don't be that creepy "best friend mom" that wants to sit and dish with the girls...)

    You strike me as intelligent, with your rapier wit and irreverent attitude. That's a good thing, Sistah! That's TALENT!

    Oh, and another talent? Calming down quasi-hysterical old women who think that someone is stalking THEM on their own blog. Jesus, I'm a ninny. Thanks again for talking me down.
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    EnjoyMockingAuthority wrote:
    Waiting for the blog when you exact your revenge on the silk tree...

    ~Heather
    Oct. 12
    Picture of Anonymous
    Random_Beautiful_Dreamer wrote:
    You and I share much of the same things. Fun, but creepy weird. I've been working since I was 14, I moved out when I was 15. I don't know my parents that well. It was better that I got out. I wish I could sing. I love my husband more than anything, but we don't have kids yet. I'm scared I'll screw them up. He wants to make more money.
    Oct. 12

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