My dear wonderful son has been born.  He was actuall born 9/25/06, nearly a month early.  Want to talk about a shocker.  I wasn't ready for that one, I can tell you that much.  In fact my water broke in the middle of the night and I sat on the toilet thinking not only had I peed my pants, but I had also lost the ability to stop my urine and was going to sit and pee forever.  It isn't that I am of limited intellegence, it is just that I was practically asleep and could not conceive that I was giving birth a month early.  Needless to say, my son thought otherwise.  A trip to the hospital and 17 1/2 hours of hard labor later and I had a wonderful 6 lb, 7 oz baby boy.  Could you imagine if he was full term?!  I would have had an elephant.

 

He has the appearance of a little Italian baby.  He has my olive toned skin, full lips and long fingers and toes, everything else about him is my husband.  I am sure he will have my husband's Irish temper and my German condensending mixture of ease and complete anal retentiveness. No doubt when he grows up he will have my husband's ancestrial ability to drink gallons of liquor and my ability to organize the hell out of anything.  I just hope he doesn't turn into a drunk, nazi skinhead.  That would definitely be taking the worst of both worlds...

 

He really is beautiful.  I didn't think I would love someone so completley and unconditionally.  I love my husband somewhat like that, but our love takes work, you know... like a marriage... because it is.  Most of the time I am between loving him and wanting him to live in a hole in the basement.  Love always wins out, but it takes a good fight and a bottle of Valium at times to battle that.  But my son... I don't know, I love him so much I want to squeeze the life out of him.  Not literally of course, but sort of... its weird.  I now know what people mean when they say they could just eat up their children.  It's that kind of love.  It makes no sense.  I read this and think that someone must be reporting me to DFACS right now.  I am not a crazy child smothering cannibal.  I just love the hell out of him.  He makes me want to quit my job and live in this weird little world of baby land forever and ever.  Which of course I can't do or I would become a hermit and end up talking to walls and shit.  I am one of those people that have a tendancy to never come out of my house unless absolutely necessary or become easily depressed and withdrawn.  Medication was made for people like me.

 

Anyway, I am back and I plan to post more... um... right.  You know, when I have time between feeding and obsessively cleaning my house, which is insanely organized at this moment.  Really.  All closets have been cleaned out.  I have amassed bags and bags of clothes and crap that need to go to goodwill.  It's crazy.  All I want to do all day is organize and hold my baby.  It may seem as though I have forgotten about my daughter.  I haven't.  She is still the light of my life, except now my life has another light.  Plus, something is different this time.  I am breastfeeding now, which I didn't do with my daughter.  That creates a strange bond between mother and child.  It is amazing and sometimes irritating and wildly inconvenient yet so easy and comfortable and weird and annoying and just wonderful.  Doesn't make any sense does it?  That is exactly what it is like, this new life of mine.  Just a strange mix of whacked out inconsistancies that equal up to near bliss.  Of course the bliss is assisted by prescription intervention.  Mood altering drugs kick ass and the ones I currently have are a wonder of the medical world.

 

It is time for me to go now.  I want to say thank you to all that still care about my little site.  Rose and Kay especially, thank you for your kind words and well wishes.  I shall be dropping by to see you all soon.  Take care and no worries, I will be back to my cantankerous and bitchy self very soon to complain and gripe my way back to normalcy.

 

That is all.